Behaviour Shift: You May Have Let Us In the Room, But You’re Still Not Listening

By Cindy Benning

It’s 2025. Women are in the room. We’ve pulled up chairs, earned titles, and taken our place at the table.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: being in the room is not the same as being heard in it.

Even recent studies show that gender dynamics in meetings have not shifted as much as many leaders like to think. Representation is up, and that matters, but the lived experience inside those rooms tells a different story.

What the Numbers Really Say

For years, advocates of gender equity have argued that more women in leadership will naturally lead to greater voice. And to some extent, representation has improved. In 2015, women made up just 17% of C-suite leaders; today that number has risen to 29%. At entry level, women’s share has climbed from 45% to 48% in the same period. ¹

Those are real gains. But when we zoom in on behavioural dynamics, the progress is patchier.

• In 2019, half of women reported being interrupted or spoken over in meetings. By 2021, that number dropped to 29%. In 2023, it fell further to 22%. But instead of continuing downward, the trend reversed: in 2024, it spiked back up to 39%. ²
• Among men, only about 20% report the same experience. ² That means women are nearly twice as likely as men to be cut off or ignored when they speak.
• In virtual settings, new research shows women are far more likely to contribute in chat, while men continue to dominate verbal participation, especially those in higher-ranking roles. ³ It’s a quiet shift of the same imbalance into a new medium.
• And day-to-day microaggressions, subtle but cutting slights, haven’t disappeared. Reports of “competence-based microaggressions” (like questioning a woman’s expertise) rose as high as 62% in 2019, fell to 35% in 2023, and then jumped back to 54% in 2024.²

The pattern is clear: progress is not linear. There are advances, yes, but also setbacks. And the setbacks are reminders that changing who sits at the table doesn’t automatically change the culture around it.

Why This Matters

Some leaders shrug this off. “Well, at least women are there now. We’ll get to the rest in time.”

But let’s be clear: this isn’t just about fairness. It’s about effectiveness.

When women’s voices are sidelined, whether drowned out, dismissed, or rebranded under a man’s name, organizations lose half the data. Decisions are made with blind spots baked in.

There’s also a trust issue. When people consistently see their input ignored or interrupted, they disengage. And disengaged talent doesn’t stay. With women now representing almost half of entry-level hires but still dropping off at every stage of the ladder, the link between daily micro-behaviours and long-term retention is undeniable.

Finally, creativity suffers. Diverse teams consistently outperform homogeneous ones on complex problem-solving. But that edge only emerges when diversity translates into voice. Without equity of participation, the benefit of diversity disappears.

Why It Still Happens

If the benefits are so obvious, why do these dynamics persist?

Several behavioural forces are at work:

• Authority bias: Research shows that both men and women unconsciously rate men’s contributions as more authoritative. This is why women’s ideas sometimes gain traction only when repeated by a man.
• Social penalties: Women who speak assertively risk being labelled as “aggressive,” a penalty their male peers rarely face.
• First-mover advantage: Whoever speaks first often sets the tone. Men are more likely to jump in early, framing women’s later comments as reactive rather than original.
• Virtual dynamics: In online meetings, status signals matter more. Those with higher titles (often men) dominate the floor, while women shift to side channels like chat. ³

These aren’t just individual quirks. They’re systemic patterns, habits reinforced by culture, rewarded over time, and left unchallenged by leaders who think presence equals inclusion.

The Behaviour Shift We Need

This isn’t about politeness. It’s about accountability. If interruptions are rising again after falling for years, if micro-aggressions are increasing, then leaders need to stop treating culture like it’s on autopilot. It isn’t.

Here are a few places to start:

• Interrupt the interrupters. If nearly 40% of women are still being spoken over, it’s not “just how people are.” It’s bias. Leaders need to call it out in the moment: “Let her finish.”
• Track airtime. Keep an eye on who dominates the floor. If men hold 70–80% of speaking time, don’t congratulate yourself for “balance” just because women are present.
• Balance the first voice. Rotate who opens discussions. The first perspective shapes what follows.
• Design for equity in virtual spaces. When women feel pushed to chat instead of speaking aloud, ³ that’s a warning sign. Build in moments where everyone is invited verbally.
• Give credit where it’s due. If an idea is repeated, name the original contributor. Out loud. Every time.

These aren’t radical steps. They’re simple behaviours, but repeated consistently, they shift the entire culture of a meeting.

The Bigger Truth

The fight was never just about getting women into the room. The fight was about ensuring their voices mattered once they got there.

Representation without voice is an unfinished story. And the numbers tell us plainly: we’re still stuck in that middle chapter.

Yes, there has been progress. More women hold executive roles than ever before. But many of the dynamics that define inclusion, who speaks, who is heard, and who is credited, haven’t kept pace. In some ways, they’re slipping backward.

So let’s stop patting ourselves on the back. Let’s stop calling this equity. Let’s call it what it is: unfinished work.

Final Word

If you are serious about leading, really leading, then ask yourself this after your next meeting:

• Who did most of the talking?
• Whose ideas were acted on?
• Who walked away unheard?

Because letting women in the room is the bare minimum. Listening — truly listening — is the work.

References

1. McKinsey & LeanIn.Org, Women in the Workplace 2024 — “Women’s representation at entry level rose from 45% in 2015 to 48% in 2024; in C-suite roles, from 17% to 29%.”
2. McKinsey & LeanIn.Org, Women in the Workplace 2024 — “50% of women reported being interrupted in 2019; 29% in 2021; 22% in 2023; 39% in 2024. Competence-based micro-aggressions rose from 43% in 2018 to 62% in 2019, fell to 35% in 2023, then back up to 54% in 2024.”
3. Kreamer, L. M. et al. (2024). Virtual Voices: Exploring Individual Differences in Written and Verbal Participation in Meetings. Journal of Vocational Behavior.
4. McKinsey & LeanIn.Org (2024). Women in the Workplace Report — “39% of women vs. ~20% of men report being interrupted or spoken over in meetings.”
5. McKinsey & LeanIn.Org, Women in the Workplace 2024 — “Despite increased representation, day-to-day micro-aggressions and discounting remain common.”

Cindy Benning - Cindy, a Certified Executive Coach, holds a bachelor’s degree in science and a master’s degree in business. With over 25 years of experience, she served on the Executive Committee of two prominent pharmaceutical companies, specializing in manufacturing and quality. In early 2021, Cindy embarked on a journey to share her insights, culminating in her book 'Being BRAVE' and the development of the BRAVE® behavior model, aimed at empowering leaders and organizations.

Through her company, Dragonfly Insights, Cindy draws inspiration from the symbolism of dragonflies, representing self-reflection and transformation. Dragonfly Insights collaborates with individuals and organizations, offering solutions that address operational efficiencies through a holistic approach encompassing processes, structures, and behaviours.

Website:           www.dragonflyinsights.com