The Power of Words: Pausing Before We Judge

Words Have Weight

Every word we use carries history, identity, and emotion. Some words open doors and build connection. Others can close hearts, even when that’s not our intention.

In a recent episode of the Space to Lead podcast, a guest used the word “sissy.” It wasn’t meant to harm—but I noticed something in me tighten.

That single word pulled me backward through time: to childhood, to the playground, to the echo of shame disguised as teasing. It’s incredible how fast our bodies can remember.

My first thought was, that word shouldn’t be used anymore.
But before I said anything, I paused.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: “The Power of Words: Pausing Before We Judge” on the Space to Lead Podcast:

What’s Beneath the Reaction

The pause gave me space to ask: Why am I reacting this way?

Is it because the word itself is universally harmful?
Or because of the story it tells in my own life?

That’s the complexity of language—it isn’t static. Words live in context. They mean different things to different people, depending on who says them, how, and where.

The word “sissy,” for instance, comes from “sister.” Historically, it was weaponized against boys and men who didn’t fit rigid ideas of masculinity, often used to police difference or vulnerability. For many of us in the LGBTQ+ community, it still carries that sting.

And yet, in some spaces, it’s been reclaimed—used playfully or affectionately, a badge of identity instead of insult.

So what’s right? Should we erase words that once caused harm? Or can they evolve?

There’s no simple answer. But I think the real learning comes from noticing our reaction before we judge.

The Space Between Intention and Impact

Our reactions are often faster than thought. When something hits us wrong, our nervous system leaps into action: fight, flight, freeze.

That’s why the pause matters.

In that moment, we can ask ourselves:

• What is this really about?
• Is my reaction about the word itself—or the memory it awakens?
• Is this about me, or the person speaking?
• What conversation might this open, if I stay curious?

The space between intention and impact is where understanding can begin.
It’s also where emotional intelligence lives—the ability to respond instead of react.

Language and Culture Are Always Evolving

We live in a time of heightened sensitivity to language, and for good reason. Words can harm. They can reinforce systems of exclusion and power.

But language is also alive. It shifts with culture, reclaiming and reimagining meanings.

The danger comes when we move too quickly from awareness to judgment—when we cancel rather than converse. In doing so, we may lose the opportunity to learn why a word matters, and how it lands differently across experience.

Maybe the real work isn’t to create a perfect list of “safe” and “unsafe” words.
Maybe it’s to cultivate a culture of reflection—where we pause long enough to ask:

What is this word doing here, in this moment? What is it asking me to notice?

The Power of the Pause

Words can be powerful weapons. But they can also be invitations—to empathy, to healing, to deeper connection.

If we can pause before we react, we give ourselves and others the chance to move from defensiveness to dialogue.

That pause doesn’t mean silence or avoidance. It means curiosity. It means choosing to understand before deciding to condemn.

In coaching, leadership, and life, that’s where growth happens—in the space between stimulus and response, between sound and meaning.

Final Reflection

The next time a word catches you off guard, try this:
Notice your reaction. Take a breath. Ask yourself what it’s bringing up—for you, for others, for the system around you.

You might not find one clear answer.
But in that reflection, you’ll find something more powerful: awareness.

And awareness, when paired with compassion, changes everything.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: “The Power of Words: Pausing Before We Judge” on the Space to Lead Podcast: